Mood: Blurarghh
Watching: Battlestar (yay Leoben!)
I'm in the middle of my yearly burnout and it sucks a big one. Fun fact, every year around about this time I go through a little process where my body realizes "holy shit, you haven't given me time to rest or relax in WAY too long"and then decides to shut down. Exhibit A, spontaneous vomiting. Yay!
Some of it is work related, definitely. I like to think that I can put up with a lot of crap, and I let things just kind of roll off me and be deflected. Fun fact though, I'm not a robot. I'm not a Cylon or the Terminator or a Cyberman or even fucking C3P0 *cue pointing and laughing at geeky references*. I need time to process, for my body to remember what it's like not to be tense all the time. I need to go more than two nights in a row without having to take a supe call and sit there listening to people bitch about how much they hate their services, demanding things of me that I can't possibly give them. Now normally I'm pretty good with, again, letting these things go. I can understand where people are coming from, the anger and the frustration. What they don't seem to understand is that if the previous representative they were speaking to wasn't able to help them then the odds are I can't help them either. Please people, do me a favour. If you're calling somewhere to complain and the previous representative you've been speaking to has tried MULTIPLE WAYS to help you, and they still can't do anything, DON'T ask for a supervisor expecting a miracle. That's not how it works.
Unfortunately this year I can't even really blame school for my problems. I'm taking a whole two courses, both of which don't require all THAT much from me other than that I show up and do the work that's assigned to me. But with working at Sitel all day, by the time I have a day off I don't actually WANT to do this minimal amount of homework. I'm tired, I want to read something of my choosing, watch some TV and go to sleep. That's it.
And sleep, ah sleep. I knew you well once upon a time. I officially go to bed at 5AM. Doesn't matter if I've had the day off, doesn't matter if I attempt to sleep at 12 or 1 or even 2, my body won't stop until 5 guaranteed. And unfortunately my lifestyle doesn't allow me to just nap away every day. I do have things that need doing, people I want to see, things I want to accomplish. I can't keep going like this, it's not a good thing.
See, I wish this could be like last year where I just lost 10 pounds from not eating and slowly went insane. Now I'm still going insane, but my ass is getting bigger. Come on!
Anyway, I'll stop bitching now. Just saying, if I seem less than enthusiastic in the next little while, y'all know why.
