And After My Red Friend, You'll Never See Me Again

GRINDHOUSE! GRINDHOUSE! Spoilery review to follow....wait for it...wait for it....GO!


Okay, these movies played back to back were fucking awesome, packed full of "missing reels", grainy footage and fake trailers. I WANT MACHETE TO BE A REAL MOVIE! And Werewolf Women of the SS.
Planet Terror
Okay, Robert Rodriguez, you officially OWN the fucked up B-horror movie category. Holy shit.
Okay, first of all, if I ever see anyone with a pulsating facial lesion I am getting the FUCK out of there. Also, never trust a member of the Black Eyed Peas to save the world, they're only going to die amusingly. Machine gun leg= Jesus. I want one, now. Please amputate me at your earliest possible convenience. I spent a solid portion of this movie vomiting in my mouth, which was very appropriate. All in all, a good fucking time.

Death Proof
So, not going to lie, I was very fucking bored for a solid portion of this movie. There's a lot of shit that happens that just has no purpose. Which, you know, a staple of a Tarantino movie but usually that only lasts for maybe five minutes. Not fourty-five. BUT, when shit did happen, it was totally worth it. Tracie Thoms= the female Samuel L Jackson. Mothafucka. The last twenty minutes of this movie was nuts. And Kurt Russell got EVERYTHING he deserved. And more :D.

All in all, a good time.
Oh, and Blades of Glory is pretty alright too.
Plus, I looked pretty damn hot last night, NOT going to lie. Way to miss out on it, people I don't work with. Way to miss out.